Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Earthquakes and Fires

I heard that there was an earthquake today.  Some people around here said that they felt it, even though the epicenter was in Virginia.  Supposedly the ground was swaying a bit here and people felt "wobbly" for a few seconds. 

I was trying to figure out why I didn't feel anything.  Nothing.  Well, maybe I did, but not really. I'm not sure.  We were at McDonald's for an after-blueberry-picking treat with Auntie Jo and as we were sitting there I heard a terrible rumbling sound and the ground was shaking but that was from the guy in the front of the store who was using a jackhammer to rip up the old sidewalk.  The thought briefly crossed my mind (seriously!) as I watched a girl pull through the drive-thru that I wonder if she thought that was an earthquake.  Hahaha, my tired mind thought.  Why would anyone think there would be an earthquake around here?!

We finished our ice cream cones and headed out to the van.  As I opened my door to get in, a thin trail of smoke in the mulch of the flowerbed next to me caught my eye.  I stuck my foot out and tried to stamp it out, thinking that some irresponsible customer must have thrown a cigarette butt in the flowers.  The funny thing was the every place that I tapped my shoe, another blackened and burned spot appeared.  I figured that I should probably warn the employees inside that there was something smoldering outside so I went in and told the teenagers behind the counter that there was smoke coming from the flowerbeds.  (Those oblivious teenagers, I thought.  They won't take me seriously.) 

I went back out to the van and an older manager came out to check it out.  She stamped it a bit and then said, "Thanks.  We'll keep an eye on it." and went back inside.  I finished buckling in the kids and turned around to see a modern day version of Moses' burning bush next to me!  The whole thing was in flames now!  The mulch, the flowers, and a bush!  Smoke was billowing up in the air and into the van.

I went running in, pushing past the long line of people and shouted, "There is a fire out in the flowerbed!  You need to get it out!"  The teenagers stared at me blank-faced and then repeated, "There's a fire in the flowerbeds" to which the manager shouted from the drive-thru window area, "I know.  I told her I'd keep an eye on it."  I shouted again (across the whole restaurant), "NO!  THERE IS A FIRE IN THE FLOWERBEDS!  The whole thing is on fire!"  They really didn't seem to care, so I went back out, along with a few more customers who could see the evidence and watched as the area was totally going up in flames.  A man ran to his truck and pulled out a huge fire extinguisher and started to blast the fire when the manager came out with, get this, a cup of water to pour on the fire! Another employee came out chowing down on her McChicken Wrap and a third stood there and said, "Wow.  There really IS a fire."  Well, DUH!  Do you think I'd go running in there shouting like a maniac that there was a fire out there if it wasn't true?! 

By this time, a few more customers had grabbed fire extinguishers from their vehicles and were spraying the whole thing down while the manager waited until they had finished and then she bravely walked over and dumped her little cup of water in the middle of the smoke. POOF! By this point, Jo and I were no longer sympathetic, but laughing with great amusement at this manager.  This McDonald's had just been remodeled and the finishing touches were being made.  They spent a pretty penny on this place and she wanted to put out a flowerbed fire with a little cup of water.  We pulled out and backed away and she impishly glanced at me and mouthed, "Thanks."  No problem, Ma'am, but the next time someone yells to you that there is a fire in front of your new store, you should probably take it seriously.

And so sometime in the middle of all that ruckus, there was an earthquake.  And I missed it.  Sigh.

2 comments:

Jenny said...

Martha, that was the funniest story I have EVER heard! Ha, ha! You really should be getting paid for writing stuff like this. You really are a great writer!! Thanks for the laugh. Sorry you missed the earthquake... so did I. *sigh*

heidiannie said...

You are a hero!
I love the burning bush- did you hear a voice?
I missed the earthquake,too, we were driving out to Smithville and just figured 585 was rather bumpy!
:)t