I know. It's been a while since I've posted, but I can give excuses. Note the word "excuses" and not "reasons". I'm in a slump. I feel like I have nothing blog-worthy going on right now so I just haven't been here. Granted, I am busy, too, but when I want to, I can always make the time to blog. This past week has been different. Maybe it's the weather. Maybe it's too much mental stuff going on. Maybe it's not enough time spent with the Lord. (Uh, what do you think?! :)
I do know that there is a devotional I read this past week that I can't seem to get out of my head, so I will share it on here. Our Christian book store is going out of business, so when I was there last week, I picked up a mother's devotional, you know, the short one-pager type because that's the extent of our time most days. I eagerly picked it up to start reading it and had a few laughs and a few insightful thoughts as I read the words of the author talking about Proverbs 31 and how different perspectives on women's lives could cause individual responses to this "wonder woman" that is talked about. She commented that her mom's description of her would be totally different because of the perspective of her mother as opposed to her own description of herself. This description of a woman in Proverbs 31 is from God's perspective, and that's why there are so many positive attributes mentioned.
Well, here I was, enjoying this little devotional and the author's humorous comments, and then I turned the page to the application question and it stopped me in my tracks. I mean, it not only stopped me in my tracks, but it made my heart race and my eyes start to tear up. I had to close the book because I couldn't answer the question: "Write at least a dozen nice things about yourself from your heavenly Father's persepctive." I couldn't do it. I couldn't even think of one thing that I could write. When I'm feeling overwhelmed with life, I can't always see the good that may be in me. All I could think of were the unkind things I had said to the boys that day and the fact that I was impatient with some of the tasks I wanted Fred to do. I could think of the mess that the house has gotten into, the cookie orders that I was behind with, the Christmas letters that still weren't done. I thought of the judgement I had cast on someone because of a comment made (even if it was only in my mind), and the guilt I felt because of ignoring the prompting of the Spirit in another area because it was more convenient (read: selfish) for me.
My page is still blank. I can't answer this question right now. I know that there are nice things that God says about me, but for some reason, I'm struggling with actually identifying them and claiming them as encouragement from the Lord. Maybe if I could hear some of your comments, it would help me to be able to hear the same from God. You don't have to write a dozen nice things God would say about you, but tell me one nice thing that God would say about YOU from His perspective. How do you think God brags about you? It's not YOU bragging about you, but GOD bragging about you! Please share!
10 comments:
hey everyone reading this, shall we help Martha out? If we all give 10 (or more) things, we can bring MORE tears to her eyes (and make her realize how precious she is not only to God and her family but to us, too).
1 You love and support your husband, especially during what could be a scary time in his business life
2 You come up with fun and creative things for your boys to do
3 You make sure you are at the bus stop (or racing there) every day to pick up Stephen
4 You are beautiful inside and out (even on those days that your teeth still aren't brushed at noon... or is that just me???)
5 You love to work and visit in the kitchen...at home, at church, and at others' homes
6 You are a FANTASTIC cook!
7 You are a modern Proverbs 31 woman, even when YOU don't think so
8 You deal with dozens of different computers, not fully understanding any of them, but still communicating with the rest of us
9 You make time to keep in touch with family (and extended family) regardless of the distances
10 You are Martha, beloved of God
Mar, 1.You are very open in sharing your joys, faults,(short comings), your frustrations. That has to be a GREAT characteristic that God admires. How else would all your family and friends keep remembering your needs in their (our) prayers!
2/You have a joy that radiates and is reflected in the faces of your family, and a peaceful look on your husband's face.
3.You are quick to laugh and spread cheer to others
4.You see a need in someone else's life and follow God's leading to help fill that need.
5.You obviously enjoy your 3 boys (and Fred)
6.You can see the humor in situations that otherwise would drive a person up the wall.
7.You love the Lord with all your heart and depend on Him
8. You help contribute to your household finances by doing your Cookie Kitchen and Watkins
9. You enjoy teaching children about God's love
10.You lead a Prov. 31 life by example rather that tell others how they should live.
11. Your home is always open to those in need of a friend or a place to lay their heads.
Add those to LindaSue's list...and I know I could write a much longer list for you. I love you for what God made you to be, for who you are and just because you are YOU!
I hope you're crying your eyes out. Mine teared up when I read your blog, knowing we all have days/weeks like that. I know I'm always uplifted by your blogs. You have such talent in writing them, too. In my heart, I've got a whole list of positives for you, too. Like you, no time to write them. Remember that God even hear us sigh when we get into a state like that, and Jesus is right there interceeding for you. You have so much going for you!!! We love you always.
Martha-
I will share one thing that I know God says about me, because I know He says it about you and all of the rest of His children..." Look at my daughter- isn't she beautiful! Every day she is getting to look more and more like her big brother, Jesus! "
One of the nicest things Robin ever said to me was that she could see the face of Jesus in my face. I'm sorry I didn't tell you this this summer- but I saw the Family resemblance in your face while we were talking in front of your parent's home. It's not what you do that makes Him proud it's the obedience that is behind he tasks.
Ok, this is NOT what I had in mind, LindaSue! I really wanted to know what you all believe God says about you!! I will accept your list because I do need some encouragement, but I also want to know what you think!
Thank you all for your comments. I will attempt to answer the question in the devotional this week.
I was trying to think of a way to rephrase John 3:16 as a way to come up with what should be my source of "self-esteem". Then in singing tonight the words in "O Holy Night" really struck me--"then He appeared and the soul felt its worth". My primary identity isn't (or shouldn't be) wife, mother, home maker, bureaucrat, Sunday School teacher, or friend and my self-esteem shouldn't come from how well I juggle or drop all these balls. I forget that God sent His Son to die for ME. And then He made me unique, all the way to my prematurely gray hair, so that I can serve Him as only I can. And I need to go to Him constantly so that I don't misuse or not use the gifts He gave me. Too often we look at how the world measures worth, so the scale is all wrong. God's scale looks more at love, obedience, and being whole hearted than being perfect. Good thing--I'm hoping He's not as critical of me as I am of myself.
Thanks for being honest and making us all think about what really matters especially in this season that is so hard on us perfectionists.
I'm joining in too:
1. Martha always says the right thing. If I"m having a bad-mom day, she'll say "yep, that will happen" and it acknowledges my feelings and I can move on.
2. Chocolate cookies... enough said
3. Funny stories: You have a way of writing the normal happenings of life in ways that make me smile every time.
4. You are a hard worker; you are not a soap-opera-addict or couch potato
5. You are good to your family. Even though you are all grown, your siblings and you care deeply for one another
6. You have well-behaved boys... silly AND well-behaved.
7. You leave comments on my blog. You make me feel like there is an adult out there who knows me
8. When my father died in 1989, you were the one of 2 people from high school who stopped by at calling hours. That meant a lot to me... still does.
9. You are transparent in your writing. You are who you are... and you portray yourself accurately
10. Your blog makes me smile... even when you are bummed and having a bad week because then **I** know I'm not the ONLY ONE who has weeks like that.
Don't forget, last week was a HUGE fullmoon. This week will be better :-)
Several years ago someone told me they heard a worship leader ask kids to ask God why He loves them. I thought that was a good idea, so in my communion time with the Lord, I worked up to it (didn't think I could ask Him outright, because...it seemed selfish or self-cenetered? I don't know).
Anyway, I had heard someone else talk about confessing sin and he said that he sat down with a notebook and said, "I'll write down whatever comes to mind, God, and expect You to speak to me.:
So I used that method. I got a notebook and asked God why He loved me, and wrote doan what popped into my head. It was amazing, because it didn't end up being about me. He said things to my heart like, "I love that you love My colors," and "I love that you search for Me and that you find Me," and "Those same chords that thrill you in certain pieces of music also thrill Me."
The exercise spoke to me deeply. Try it!
Woah---sorry about all the misspellings!
Martha,
I share your disdain for myself. It's so hard to see any good. I'm reading The Shack. Not too sure about it, but it does make me think differently about how God feels about me. I think it's partly becuase I know how very unworthy I am that I find the worst in me. But when God sees me, He sees Jesus. What could be more beautiful?
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